Coming from a family of teachers, it’s not unusual to hear my nieces tell funny stories about something their students did or said. School may be out for the summer, but the stories continue.
The Word
Recently, one of my nieces told me a story about a couple of her third-grade students. Her school allows them to enter the classroom before classes begin. This is their chance to catch up on assignments not completed the previous day or not done because of an absence.
Since each student’s screen appears on her screen, she can monitor them as they work. If a student does something they shouldn’t, or goes to a site they aren’t supposed to, she can stop them. With a click of the mouse, the student’s screen turns black, and a lock symbol appears in the middle of it. The computer then tells them, “Your teacher has locked your screen.” And the student can’t do anything until she unlocks it.
The children are supposed to wear headsets so that when the computer program talks to them, it doesn’t disturb the other students. That day, though, this little boy hadn’t put on his headset as he learned about urban and rural communities. So, he didn’t hear the word pronounced when “URBAN” popped up on his screen.
He didn’t know the word. He wasn’t a good speller. Neither was the little girl who sat at the computer next to him, but when she saw his screen, she knew exactly what it said. “You’ve been banned,” she told him. My niece, watching and listening, didn’t understand, until the girl pointed out to the boy, “U-R-Ban(ned)”
Though this is funny, it’s also sad. (And another example of how the shorthand used in texting is hurting the young who abbreviate words before they know how to correctly spell them.)
According to Elementary Students
Kids can be very funny. Who doesn’t love watching them perform in a school/church choir or program? The younger they are, the funnier they can be. Of course, they not only say funny things, they write them, too.
Did You Know…
- Two halves make a whale.
- I like to pick up smells on the beach and keep them in my room.
- The jungles of Africa are very dangerous for the people who explore them. There must be hundreds of people who have been mauled to death by a tiger or wino.
- When I am older I want to learn to drive a cat.
Wrong Test Answers
Older students can be just as funny with their answers as younger ones. The following are from Richard Benson’s “F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers.” Did you know these?
Chemistry
Q: A liter is… A: A nest of puppies.
Q: When a child swallows a cleaning product, why is milk often given? A: To make them happy before they die.
Biology
Q: Explain the word “genome.” A: It is an abbreviation of the two words Gender and Gnome.
Q: Name three uses of the skin. A: Makes your appearance more normal. It doesn’t show your ribs or your insides. It keeps part of the wind from getting in.
Physics
Q: Why do some researchers believe that living close to a cell phone tower might cause poor health? A: You might walk into it.
Q: Describe the shape and structure of the Milky Way. A: It’s kind of like a long, bumpy rectangle. It’s completely covered in milk chocolate, but inside there are two delicious layers: chocolaty nougat and caramel.
History & Geography
Q: Name the smaller rivers that run into the Nile. A: The Juveniles.
Q: Who was Socrates? A: Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
Q: Explain one reason why people are concerned about rising water levels in the world’s oceans. A: Dolphins will invade coastal cities in phase 1 of their plan for world domination.
English
Q: Name two plays by Shakespeare. A: Romeo and Juliet.
Q: Correct the following: The bull and the cow is in the field. A: The cow and the bull is in the field. (Ladies come first.)