At the beginning of the school year, I shared some of the funnier students’ test answers from Richard Benson’s F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers and F For Effort! More of the Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers.

We’re now more than halfway through another school year—a mostly normal year, thank goodness. And, as is normal, children will answer some test questions incorrectly. Sometimes, though, the incorrect answers are technically correct.

Teachers are human, too, and sometimes their questions, as seen in Mr. Benson’s books, beg for accurate, if creative—not what the teacher was looking for—answers.

 

Science

Q: Alice places a prepared slide on her microscope, but when she looks into it, she can’t see anything. Suggest one reason why not.  A: She is blind.

Q: How would you keep wine from turning into vinegar?  A: Drink it.

Q: List five ways that plants interact with each other.  A: They don’t. They’re plants. They can’t talk or hang out. Is this a trick question?

Q: Explain how energy is lost during energy conversion.  A: Thinking about an energy conversion is so boring that I completely run out of energy and have to go to sleep at my desk.

 

Math

Q: Anna is trying to decide what to have for lunch in the cafeteria. She can choose 1 entrée and 2 side dishes. There are 4 available entrées, and 8 available side dishes. How many different combinations are possible for Anna’s lunch?  A: She has severe food allergies and can only eat oatmeal.

Q: A startled armadillo jumps straight into the air with an initial velocity of 18 feet per second. After how many seconds does it land on the ground?  A: Armadillos don’t jump. (Wrong! Did you know that when startled, the nine-banded armadillo can jump three to four feet straight up in the air?)

Q: A train is blowing its whistle while traveling at 33 m/s. The speed of sound is 343 m/s. If you are directly in front of the train, what is the whistle frequency you hear?   A: You will get hit by the train before you can even figure out what that whistling sound is. (Why would any teacher think it a good idea to stand directly in front of a train?)

Q: Matt had a 9 ft by 12 ft wall painted. For a wall twice as wide, the painter charged him twice as much. Is this reasonable? Explain.  A: The painter can charge whatever he wants. If Matt doesn’t like it, he can paint his own walls.

Q: If Andrew invests $25,000 at 8.5% APR compounded monthly, how much money will he have after 10 years?  A: $0, with the economy like it is.

 

Business & Technology

Q: Jeff has been asked to collect data about the amount of television his friends watch. Think of an appropriate question he could ask them.  A: How much TV do you watch? (Well, duh!)

 

History & Geography

Q: Upon ascending to the throne, the first thing Queen Elizabeth II did was to. . .  A: Sit Down.

Q: Name the successor of the first Roman emperor.  A: The second Roman Emperor.

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?  A: At the bottom. 

Q: How many wars were waged against Spain?  A: 6  Q: Enumerate them.   A: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Q: What is the Sound west of the state of Washington?  A: The sound of the ocean.

Q: What direction does the Amazon flow?  A: Downhill. Rivers never flow uphill.

 

Extra Credit

Q: In the space below please write any overall comments about this course or instructor not covered above.  A: If I had one hour to live, I’d spend it in this class because it feels like an eternity.