As I researched last week’s Did You Know “Urban” Is More Than A Metropolitan Area?, I couldn’t help but remember a story Dad told about following instructions.
Dad 1 – Teacher 0
One time when he was in Junior High, Dad’s whole class got in trouble. To punish them, the teacher kept them from recess—remember when recess was part of the school day?—until they’d copied, by hand, a full page from the encyclopedia.
Dad, being a too-smart-for-his-britches boy, hurried to the encyclopedias and grabbed the one he wanted. Back at his desk, he did as instructed and wrote down all the words printed on the page he chose. Within minutes, while the rest of the students slaved away on the assignment, Dad popped up and strode to the teacher’s desk to turn in his paper.
The teacher was furious when she saw what he’d written. She marched him out of the classroom and straight to the principal’s office. She told the principal Dad hadn’t followed her instructions. As proof, she held out the paper with only a handful of bird names written on it.
The principal turned to Dad and asked for an explanation. Dad pointed out he had done exactly as the teacher had asked. He’d found a page in the encyclopedia and copied all the words on that page. It just happened that the page he’d chosen had nothing on it but pictures of birds and their names.
The principal queried the teacher, “Did you specify what had to be on the page they copied?” The teacher frowned. “No.” The principal just shrugged. “Then, he’s right. He did exactly as you instructed.”
Following Instructions
Dad’s quick wit helped him slide through that disciplinary assignment with little effort. (And no lesson learned. At least, not on Dad’s part. I’m sure the teacher learned a valuable lesson about how to deal with Dad going forward.)
Dad literally did as his teacher had requested. He wasn’t the first, and certainly won’t be the last, to do something like this. Students often answer questions with literal answers. Sometimes they’re successful, most times they aren’t. Still, their answers are all creative.
Literal Answers – Successful
The following are examples of students who answered questions literally, and teachers counted them as correct.
Q: The difference between 180 and 158 is ____? Explain how you found your answer. A: 22, Math
Q: Come up with an equation that is true when x=7 (Be creative, you can make the equation as simple or as complex as you want). A: x=7
Q: Write a question, using why. A: Why?
Q: Write five words you can spell. A: (1) five, (2) words, (3) you, (4) can, (5) spell
Q: Write an example of a risk. A: This.
Q: Suggest one cause of deforestation. A: This paper.
Q: Provide an example of a risk. A: No.
Literal Answers – Failures
In most cases, though, while students’ literal answers were technically correct, the teachers—who obviously had no sense of humor—marked them wrong.
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom.
Q: What ended in 1896? A: 1895!
Q: Briefly explain what hard water is. A: Ice.
Q: To change centimeters to meters you _____? A: Take out “centi.”
Q: Taylor can’t see anything when she looks down at her microscope. Explain one reason why. A: She is blind.
Q: Name six animals that live specifically in the Arctic. A: 2 polar bears, 4 seals.
Q: Why do we pay taxes? A: So we don’t get arrested.
Q: What is the strongest force on earth? A: Love.
Q: Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune have at least three things in common. List them. A: (1) They are all planets. (2) They are all round. (3) None of them have McDonalds.
Q: Write 80-100 words. A: 80-100 words.
Q: Why are there rings on Saturn? A: Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
Q: Is the number 68 even or odd? A: Even. Q: How do you know? A: Because I’m smart.
Q: Name your favorite hue. A: Jackman. (For those who may not know, Hugh Jackman is a movie star.)
Q: How would you make a marriage work? A: Tell your wife she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Q: Washington’s army didn’t receive any support from . A: Godzilla
Literal Answers – My Favorites
I think the kids who answered the following questions are especially clever and should have gotten some credit for their answers.
True…
Circle the smallest number.
1. 39, 42, 67 (1 was circled)
2. 17, 71, 15 (2 was circled)
3. 96, 60, 86 (3 was circled)
Creative…
Name these 2d shapes. (I couldn’t draw the shapes, so I just spelled them out.)
(Square) – Jade, (Oval) – Charlotte, (Rectangle) – Charlie, (Circle) – Sophia, (Triangle) – Emily
Imaginative…
Expand (a+b)n
( a + b )n ( a + b )n ( a + b )n
Accurate…
Write these words in alphabetical order.
TAKE – aekt
VALUE – aeluv
USE – ESU
ROYAL – ALORY
(The answer the teacher wanted: royal, take, use, value.)
And my absolute favorite literal answer…
Q: A coin is flipped, and then a die is rolled. What is the probability of rolling an odd and then flipping a tails? A: 0% because you flipped the coin first.
Final Thoughts
Kids are often quite literal . . . and many times quite clever. Teachers, think twice about how you ask your questions. Also, think about sometimes rewarding your students’ creativity.