Since I’ve spent much of the new 2025 helping my baby sister and her husband pack and move—talk about déjà vu, I’m just thankful it’s them and not me—I haven’t had much time for my normal DYK research. And with Notre Dame playing Ohio State in the National Championship Game on Monday night, I decided this was the perfect time to share another round of student Did You Knows from The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers.
Chemistry
Q: What type of attractive force or bond holds the sodium ions and chloride ions together in a crystal or sodium chloride? A: James Bond
Q: Describe the chemical differences between H2O and CO2. A: H2O is hot water, CO2 is cold water
Biology
Q: What is the meaning of the word “varicose”? A: Close by
Q: Explain the concept of homeostasis. A: It is when you stay at home all day and don’t go out.
Q: Give the meaning of the term caesarean section. A: It’s a district in Rome.
Q: Name four animals that belong to the cat family. A: The momma cat, the poppa cat, and 2 kittens.
Q: What is the general width of a hair follicle? A: A hair’s breadth.
Q: What are fossils? A: Fossils are extinct animals. The older it is, the more extinct it is!
Q: Name four methods of locomotion in animals. A: Forwards, backwards, sideways, up and down.
Q: How frequent is biennial? A: Twice every so often.
Q: Define germination. A: To become a German citizen.
Physics
Q: What is a solar day? A: SUNday.
Q: Explain the effect of heat and cold and give an illustration. A: Heat expands – the days are longer in the summer. Cold contrats – the days are shorter in the winter.
Q: How are clouds formed? A: I am not sure how clouds get formed but the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
Math
Q: What is conditional probability? A: Maybe, maybe not.
Q: A polygon is: A: A man who has many wifes.
Q: If an angle has less than 90 degrees, what is it called? A: A cute angle.
Business & Technology
Q: What is a desktop? A: Where you do your work.
Q: What is a CD-ROM? A: An album of romantic music.
Psychology
Q: Explain the process of “learning.” A: A process by which information goes into one ear and out of the other.
History & Geography
Q: Define the phrase “heavy industry.” A: An industry that sells tons.
Q: What was the main industry in Persia? A: Cats
Q: Name one of the primary products of the Hawaiian Islands. A: Grass Skirts and flower necklaces.
Q: Name two of the classes that existed in medieval England. A: History class & Geography class.
Q: What is having only one spouse called? A: Mandatory.
Q: Name one of the early Romans’ greatest achievements. A: Learning to speak Latin.
Q: What did Paul Revere say at the end of his famous ride? A: Whoa!
English
Q: Name three relative pronouns. A: My aunt, my uncle, and my brother.
Q: Define caucus. A: A dead animal.
Q: What are Milton’s significant works? A: Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
Q: Who was the Hunchback of Notre Dame? A: One of the greatest football players.
Extras From Elementary Children’s Writings
The sultanas had wifes and also porcupines.
I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool, I don’t know any old men apart from grandpa.
I helped my dad in the garage. He let me hit some nails in with his hamster.
I didn’t get to sleep mutch because next doors dog was baking all night.
Summary
On one hand, it’s sad that the children didn’t know the correct answers. On the other hand, I applaud their simple honesty and creativity. No matter how many times I read these, they always make me laugh. I hope they do the same for you.
To read my previous two DYKs from Richard Benson’s F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers and F For Effort! More of the Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers click on DYK Being a “Stakeholder” is Risky Business (August 21, 2021) or DYK Sometimes It’s All About the Question? (March 5, 2022).